Humor in Indian marriages is rampantly palpable, but somewhat not quite palatable.

The protagonist of the story is the girl’s father. If blessed with more than one girl child, he is utterly condemned. Girls are considered to be liabilities and so, he is always on the defensive. He is on a constant lookout for good matches. If a suitable match is found he has to go to the boy’s house and make the proposal. He remains at the receiving end of the ensuing negotiations and bargaining once the proposal is approved. The antagonist of the story is the boy’s father. He is an aggressor and sits at home right royally with tremendous assets called boys. He considers the proposals with an investor’s eye and approves only if it promises maximum benefits. Assets must attract more assets.

The natural ‘boy meets girl’ formula is rarely followed. Instead, the time tested formula is ‘horoscope meets horoscope’. The protagonist goes to the antagonist’s house with a copy of the girl’s horoscope and her photo. He deposits the credentials there with high hopes. He is lucky if he is served tea and snacks. If the boy reacts favorably to the photo the antagonist then, at his own sweet time, calls for the family priest and asks for examination of the girl’s horoscope with the boy’s. If the priest declares a good match then the antagonist posts a letter announcing the results putting the burden of all the follow-ups on his counterpart. If not, the antagonist does not think it proper to answer at all.

Following an approved proposal the girl’s father goes to the boy’s house again and invites them formally to ’see’ the girl. The boy’s family lands up there on the appointed day and a lavish reception is always arranged for them. On mutual agreement the boy and the girl are allowed to have a private meeting to discover each other.

In many other cases the engaged ones never get the opportunity to meet each other. They land up on the nuptial bed as perfect strangers. Well …

In the lower or lower middle class homes of the overcrowded cities there is hardly any space for the new couple. There are already couples galore in such one room tenements. They range from the grand-parental level to even the grand-son level. So, the new couple has to go to the parks or the rocky beaches in search of a little romancing. But sometimes the humorless cops spoil it further by raiding such spots and locking up even legitimate couples.

Meanwhile, the father of the bride gets happy with the thought that some of his liabilities are settled now. That is the only good feeling he can afford. He is not supposed to visit his child often and accept hospitality there, though he more often than not fully sponsored the boy’s reception party. In some still less fortunate cases he has to carry on the bargaining game at his cost. The antagonist reasons with him, ‘Look man! Whatever you are giving you are giving only to your dearest little daughter. Don’t you want to see her happy!’

It is said that Indian marriages are made in heaven and it is the union of the souls. It is neither a contract nor a biological settlement. It is holy permanent and eternal.

Oh Lord, where are the souls gone?

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Chinmay Chakravarty is a professional specialized in the creative field with over two decades of experience in journalistic writing, media co-ordination, film script writing, film dubbing, film & video making, management of international film festivals and editing of books & journals. Proficient in providing professional services in these related fields and also in fields of credit tips, personal finance and mediation help. Has a passion for making people laugh as often as possible and is interested in having a laughter club for doing away with everyday problems.

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