For those of us that have been in the work force for a number of years, I am sure can identify with some of the funny catch phrases bosses have.

There are always the battles for new equipment. The discussions and requests that go on year after year. In this situation the Boss uses the phrase: “In the next budget year”. What exactly does this mean? Does this mean “In the next budget year” you will get that laptop you are requesting? It would really be nice not to share one and put up with someone’s Twinkies stuck between the keys. “In the next budget year” most probably means that we will look at your request again next year thanks for stopping in. Just as you are about to leave the Boss’s office you hear: “We will have to reallocate our expenditures”. This of course means that no one knows all of the company’s expenditures so how can you possible think you will be getting that new laptop you requested? Keep working with your ten year old PC with the monitor that dims off and on like a Christmas tree.

My favorite phrase is of course, “I’ll catch up with you later”. This is usually used after your boss makes a major policy decision. Say something like one box of pencils for the whole office until the next budget meeting in six months. We have to put a stop to excessive pencil usage. Before anyone can voice their opinion the phrase: “I’ll catch up with you later” is uttered. This means any voicing of current or future opinions will be made at some future date such as on a National Holiday when the office is closed.

“Job analysis of your performance data.” This is a good one. Try asking for a raise. You can be sure you will hear this phrase: “Job analysis of your performance data.” This means don’t even have the thought of a raise enter your brain. If you are in possession of these thoughts, immediately render yourself senseless by downing ten hot dogs for lunch followed by several diet beverages. The nitrates and artificial ingredients are sure to render your brain useless until the Boss can escape to his vacation in Cancun.

“Let’s have a meeting” means that the Boss doesn’t want to make a decision about maybe when to have the next holiday party. Instead we will call everyone together and spend a couple hours discussing this instead of working on more urgent matters. This is enjoyed by everyone involved.

Learn more about the language spoken by bosses in my very funny
Bosses’ Language Dictionary eBook. Visit my web site at: lorrainemessina.com
to purchase my humor eBooks. Buy an eBook and get a free newsletter.

Lorraine likes to find the humor in things we hear everyday and tend to ignore. Visit Lorraine’s web site at: http://lorrainemessina.com to purchase her humor eBooks. Buy an eBook and get a free newsletter.